Take the Pain

Sometimes in this life people can feel unaccepted and hurt. i would know. Many times i turned to a Friend who i thought would be of great help, and he was, sometimes. When asking for help, i would end-up pushing him away as he would try his hardest to help me out. i wanted him to take away my pain, but i knew that's not how it works. He told me only God can do that, but i struggled to believe. The stress of all this lead my dear friend to stop speaking to me, it was all to much. i knew if i didn't change i would not get my friend back...but i didn't know what to do. He tells me over and over to turn to God, but deep inside i resisted God, i make myself believe he doesn't care.. but does he? My friend, i will call him Ticket, tried to convince me God cares. And now i share this with whoever feels the need to read this simply because, all those people out there, all those who struggle with self-harm, or suicide, or abuse, or bulling, i want you all to know that Ticket believe's God cares, and i want to also. i write about Gods love, but do i believe it? i cannot feel it most the time, but the tiny bit i can, its unbelievable. God, Please Help me if you truley care. I want the love for you that i see Ticket has for you... i want to change my ways oh, Lord. Show me your real, show others your real.